Connection as Purpose: Why Belonging, Not Just Achievement, Moves Us Forward
(Image credit: Photo by Christina Morillo on Pexels)
By Helen Patterson
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what meaningfully sustains us, not just in our careers, but in our lives. What keeps us going when the strategy changes, when the goalposts move, or when the spark starts to flicker?
In the busy seasons (like the one I’m in right now as I prepare to launch my book Create a Mentor Culture), it’s easy to assume that purpose comes from doing: the project, the momentum, the next big milestone. But when I slow down, when I really listen to what’s underneath, I keep coming back to one thing:
It’s being in a state of real connection that keeps me going.
And not just connection to people, but connection to why I started, why I am on the path I chose. In other words, to the heartbeat underneath the work, to the belief that what we build matters most when it brings us closer to ourselves, to each other, and to something bigger than either.
This month, as I’ve been reflecting on the role of connection in leadership and mentoring, new questions have emerged:
What if connection isn’t just a byproduct of purpose, but the source of it? What if we’re not chasing impact to feel fulfilled, but chasing connection?
What We Get Wrong About Purpose
Purpose is a word we use often, but rarely pause to define. For many of us, it’s framed as a deeply personal thing: find your why, pursue your passion, know your vision. And while all of that matters, I’ve learned through my work that purpose alone isn’t enough to sustain us, unless it’s grounded in connection. What I mean by that is that your purpose has to be shared, it has to be stimulated and fed by a sort of wondrous and powerful collective passion for what you cherish. Your purpose needs friends. It needs connection, as much as you do.
I’ve met high-performing professionals who are hitting every external marker of success, and yet feeling empty. Why? Because there’s no real sense of belonging. No relational glue. No human anchor.
And I’ve seen the opposite: people navigating uncertainty, career changes, or leadership transitions, but doing so with presence, clarity, and support. Not because they have all the answers, but because they’re connected. To a mentor, to a colleague, to their values, to their team, to their why.
The truth is, we can’t do purpose alone. At least, not for long, and not sustainably. Even the most internally driven people need relationships that reflect their intentions back to them, need spaces where their contributions are seen and valued, and need to feel connected to a larger story.
We think of purpose as a straight line toward impact. But more often than not, it’s a web: a network of people, moments, and shared meaning. And connection is what holds that web together.
Mentorship: Where Connection and Purpose Come to Life
This is something I see again and again in mentoring work. The most meaningful mentor–mentee relationships are not defined by technical expertise or perfect planning. They’re defined by shared presence. By a kind of relational alchemy that allows people to grow, not by being told what to do, but by being reminded of who they are.
When a mentee feels truly connected to their mentor, to their aspirations, to their voice, then purpose begins to unfold naturally. Clarity emerges, and confidence follows.
And mentors, too, rediscover purpose through the relationship. I’ve lost count of how many mentors have told me:
“I thought I was giving back, but I’ve gained so much more than I expected.”
That is the power of mentoring with heart. It’s not just about development. It’s about direction.
Not just about learning, but about remembering.
In Create a Mentor Culture, I explore how these kinds of connections are not rare, but often untapped and left underdeveloped in organisations that treat mentoring as a box to tick rather than a relationship to nurture.
When we place connection at the centre, everything else expands. Teams communicate more honestly. Leaders listen more deeply. People take risks, not because they’re fearless, but because they’re held.
Connection as the New Metric of Success
What if, instead of asking:
What did I accomplish today?
How efficient was I?
What’s next on the list?
We asked:
Who did I connect with today?
Did I feel present?
Did I create space for someone else to feel seen?
Trust me, these questions don’t diminish performance, they enhance it. Because when people feel connected, they show up with more creativity, more resilience, more trust. They don’t just execute, they contribute, they lead, and most importantly, they stay.
And as we move into the next chapter at Life Works Well (with the upcoming release of my book) it’s this quiet, human metric I’m holding close. I’m proud of the words I’ve written, the structure I’ve built. But what matters most to me is that this book helps people feel less alone in their leadership and mentoring skills. More connected in their work, and more anchored in their purpose.
A Quiet Invitation
So as we close this month on Connection, I invite you to reflect with me:
Where do I feel most connected right now, and what does that tell me about what I value?
Who helps me remember my why when I’ve lost track of it?
How might I lead from connection, not just intention?
We don’t have to do this alone. And we’re clearly not meant to. When we root our purpose in connection, we don’t just find meaning, we sustain it. Here’s to the quiet power of being in it together.
With Love,
Helen.